Labia Bats

E. C. Kelly

There’s an anger management technique that tells you to breathe deep and count to ten? I breathe deep, count to ten, and then imagine my labia flapping after Donald Trump like a bat out of hell.

It’s a quiet rage thing. Imagine Frog Kid getting bullied by popular girls because his shoes aren’t Nikes or his sweater looks weird. People are trying to make him feel ashamed about something he can’t help. Don’t you think that he’d breathe deep, count to ten, and imagine frogs thwapping into their satisfied little faces?

When a man at a party says, “You’re bi, huh? Just couldn’t get enough sex?”

When a man tells me that not wearing a bra is “asking for it.”

When a man says, “I don’t go down on girls. That’s nasty.”

I breathe deep, count to ten, and imagine my labia flapping after these men like wrinkly aggressive bats. Then the men scream, run, and yell “Ewwwwwww!!!!”
 

E. C. Kelly has an M.A. in Liberal Arts, which is a fancy way of saying she's studied teaching, acting, and creative writing a lot. What motivates her writing is the queer kid born to an unaccepting family. She wants to reach that kid.