ENTOMOLOGY // MIRAGE

Rushi Vyas

I find you in the basement  /  suspended  /  pulse
 
skinned  /  though I keep reaching  / for your carotid  /
 
your neck  /  the cold throat  /  of the man who earned
 
the money  /  Mom used to raise me  //  I roll   
 
outside  /  away from your corpse  /  numb to the scald  
 
as Labor Day suns the black drive  //  I walk backward  / 
 
two days in time  /  into the park  /  mindless where I stumble  /
 
near a cicada  /  kicking  /  stuck  /  dying  //  I lift its shell  / 
 
from the puddle  /  try  /  to warm it in my palm  //  I do  / 
 
all I could  /  but  /  all I could  /  fears    
 
with feigned bravery  /  the spine  /  the crunch   /  the nails
 
between fingertip & another  /  the unflinching  /  the thin  /
 
exoskeleton between rage  /  & vulnerability  //  I gave
 
my entomologist friend  /  your body  /  to hang behind glass
 
mounted on her wall  //  There below the jugular  /  is a rope
 
tied to my larynx  //  I do all I could  /  to drag  /  through
 
tar & haze  /  to your funeral  /  to test the rope’s functionality  /
 
to discover  /  what enough is  /  if this rope
 
will slacken  /  or choke  / 
 
or break  // 

Rushi Vyas teaches poetry in Boulder, CO where he serves as Managing Editor of Subito Press and Assistant Managing Editor of Timber Journal. He is working toward his MFA in poetry at CU-Boulder.